Too Many Decisions
27th Edition - March 31, 2023 - Decision fatigue, an anniversary, and rituals
I’m woken daily by an alarm on my phone set to sound like gently tweeting, yet impatient, morning song birds. These birds grow louder and more perturbed with each instance of hitting snooze and ignoring their calls to start my day before sunrise. While I would like to blame the fake birds for being insensitive, my attempts to trick myself into believing that nature sounds are going to ease me into the day is likely my first mistake. My second mistake is using my phone as an alarm because after turning off the alarm I do several things next:
Look for any missed text messages that came in overnight - a gamble when you are a leader in a school district of nearly 3000 students
Check my email, almost certainly raising the stakes that my mood will be instantly shifted, and rarely in a good way
Open Instagram. Open TikTok. Open Facebook. You get the idea. The World at my fingertips. The World with a capital W. At 5:30 AM. Before I have even turned my lights on.
The time for making decisions has arrived, and I still have bed-head.
For the last several weeks I’ve been plagued by a malaise that I couldn’t quite put my finger on until recently. I found myself staring off into space in the middle of an activity that demands my attention. I lost my train of thought more often than I’d like to admit. I’ve been easily distracted and avoidant of things that require me to make a choice right now. I can’t seem to figure out what I want to write for a supposedly weekly, or at least bi-weekly, newsletter that I have been attending to for over a year now. And, on top of it all, I’ve felt guilty about these very same things. If you’re anything like me, you might be realizing you have felt some similar things. It turns out I, and maybe you, are dealing with the same very real phenomenon: Decision Fatigue.
So what is it? Simply, it's that mental exhaustion you feel when you've made too many decisions in a short period of time. Consider this: From the moment we open our eyes, we're bombarded with choices. Should I hit snooze or actually get up? Coffee or water first? What's for breakfast? What should I wear? As the day goes on, the decisions pile up, some more complicated than others, and eventually our brains just say, "Nope, I'm done." That's when we feel overwhelmed, and it becomes difficult to make even the simplest of choices. What’s for dinner? What show do we want to watch on the vast streaming options? It’s become so prevalent in modern society that even the American Medical Association wants you to know what it is and how to combat it.
But why does decision fatigue happen? It comes down to limited capacity. Like the rest of our body systems, our brains have a finite amount of resources from which to pull energy, and making decisions uses up some of that precious fuel. We all have different sized tanks, but eventually they will drift toward empty. As we make more and more choices, our decision-making abilities become less reliable, and we can become impulsive or avoid making decisions altogether. Not ideal, especially if we never do anything to replenish our energy reserves.
In case you hadn’t figured out where this is going, the last several weeks have been a bit of a slog. I’ve been short with people around me. I’ve been staring at my phone screen more and more. I’m struggling to remain connected and grounded in things that bring me joy outside of work primarily because my proverbial cup certainly is not runneth-ing over at the end of the day. It seems that the number of things I’m a decider on, whether self-imposed or not, is growing like undeterred tendrils of ivy climbing a weathered brick wall. You don’t actually see it happening, but one day you look at the once red brick wall and it’s suddenly just covered in green. Decisions everywhere. Right now, my wall is all leaves and I’ve waited too long to do some pruning. I’ve got to replenish my energy.
When I start down this path, it has been natural for me to pivot back to the process of writing. Writing has historically been a game-changer for me when it comes to clearing my head. It helps me organize my thoughts, prioritize tasks, and make better decisions. It holds a mirror up to my mind and says, “Here’s the story you are telling yourself, and here’s what’s REALLY going on.” And it’s a great way to vent, express myself, and try on new ideas before sharing them with others. This newsletter, for example, has been one huge outlet for me whether or not anyone is reading it. Yet even writing has been a challenge. Writing on a computer. Writing on paper. Writing privately in a journal. It’s all up in the air right now, so I’m doing the best I can. I’m trying hard not to let perfect be the enemy of good, as the saying goes. I’ve started by getting back to basics. Fiddling with my fountain pen collection, filling them with new inks. Free-writing stream of consciousness without any need for a thread of continuity. Doodling (see the Instagram video up top from my stationery-centric account). I figure maybe one of those small acts will spark a new burst of creative energy that will refill those essential brain reserves.
As we navigate our daily lives, the multitude of decisions we face can leave us feeling drained, irritable, and disconnected. It’s crucial to recognize the warning signs of decision fatigue and take deliberate steps to replenish our energy reserves. Whether it's through writing, a completely different creative outlet, or simply taking a step back to reevaluate our priorities, let's make a conscious effort to take care of ourselves, be honest about our struggles, and check in with each other so we can be ready for those choices that lie ahead. We can do this! After all, I am about to hit publish on this edition, something I haven’t done since February 5th. There really is always an opportunity to begin again.
Stay hydrated, and take good care.
-Tim
What I’m Thankful For:
Beyond Our Walls: Time is a crazy thing, and I’m absolutely thrilled to acknowledge the one-year anniversary of BOW which first hit inboxes on March 7, 2022. Since then we have grown to nearly 80 subscribers, and that fact really is astounding to me. That even a handful of folks would be interested in what I have to say is really a very cool feeling. I am even more appreciative of the fact that you have stuck with me as readers even as my writing has lagged. Over the past year, this newsletter has become a valued outlet for me, allowing me to share my thoughts, experiences, and insights so that they do more than just rattle around inside my own head. The power of writing for an audience cannot be overstated; it pushes me to delve deeper into my ideas, refine my perspectives, and ultimately, strengthen my voice. Knowing that my words resonate with others fuels my passion for writing and drives me to continue sharing. As I reflect on this writing milestone, I am filled with immense gratitude for the connections, growth, and inspiration that have stemmed from Beyond Our Walls. Here's to another year of storytelling and meaningful conversations!
Link(s) of the Week
Mental Health:
Vox: Why we need rituals, not routines - Let me start by saying that I am not good at rituals. Or good habits. Or routines. But I aspire to be good at them, and I suppose that is a start. One weekly ritual that I try to stay dedicated to is visiting my favorite cafe each Sunday morning in Troy, NY early, like pre-8 AM if possible, enjoy whatever seasonal iced latte is on the menu (it’s pear-lavender today), and attempt to gather my thoughts for the coming week. This might look like journaling with pen to paper, trying to widdle down my email inbox, or, if I’m in a particularly good place, updating this newsletter. And while I love this particular ritual, I aspire to smaller, daly rituals that make me a better version of myself. This article just drives that home even further for me.
Looking for more ways to discover interesting writing on the Internet?
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